Do I Need a Lawyer if I’m Mediating my Divorce?
Maybe. No. Yes. If you want one. Any of these responses may apply. So how do you answer this question?
Some people believe that getting legal advice while working through a divorce in mediation is contrary to the spirit of mediation. More than one mediation client of mine expressed disappointment upon learning that their former partner decided to consult with an attorney. Lawyers are more commonly associated with conflict, not conflict resolution. However, it’s important for parties to a divorce to understand their right and options. Because a mediator serves as a neutral, even if a mediator is a lawyer, the mediator cannot advise either mediation client or provide legal advice. So, it’s often sensible for the parties participating in mediation to each consult with and sometimes retain a lawyer to advise them through the mediation process.
What does this look like? The lawyer advice is typically provided separately from the mediation sessions. A party may seek legal advice before the first mediation session and off and on throughout the mediation process in between mediation sessions. I provide legal advice services for mediating clients, and I find that it is most effective when the client first meets with me before the first mediation session or shortly thereafter. It’s a bummer for the mediation process if after a full agreement is reached, a party who then seeks legal advice finds out that she agreed to terms that have a different long-term impact than she realized. Returning to mediation to undo an agreement can be stressful and costly and do some harm to a co-parenting relationship.
Another service that the advising attorney can provide is to review the draft Separation Agreement that the mediator prepares to make sure that the language accomplishes what the party intends to be the agreement. The terms of a Separation Agreement should be stated in clear, enforceable terms that the parties and the Court understand. And even if the Separation Agreement is well drafted by the mediator, it’s always helpful to have another divorce professional weigh in on the drafting to provide constructive revision suggestions.
Many people go through the mediation process without advice from counsel. In many of those situations, the absence of independent legal advice does not negatively impact a party. But you needn’t feel that obtaining legal advice is contrary to the spirit and protocol of the mediation process. Just make sure that you select an experienced attorney who is supportive of mediation and has the skills to advise you so you can advocate for yourself in a peaceful manner that will lead to a full settlement.
September 2025